It's a disease you can only catch on safari. You don't know it's coming until it hits you, and when it hits you, you don't even know that it's real. It feels something like what I imagine a heart attack feels like. But instead of speeding up, your heartbeat slows until you feel like it's beating in your head.
It's the short shorts, the perpetually wind-blown hair -- those boots. Women fall in love with them, men want to be them. Everything about the boys in khaki is dangerous, and you're a apparently a daredevil.
Our family friend, Tina, warned us of the symptoms of the boys in khaki before the safari - even referring to it as Khaki Fever before we left for our trip. Frankly, I thought it was just a big joke, but boy was I wrong!
It takes hold quickly, and there is no known cure, so keep an eye out for these seven signs that you've caught khaki fever:
1. You get really excited about animal sightings - even if it's yet another elephant, or even just a rock.
That's an elephant. No a rhino. No, wait... it's not moving. Just another gray rock. Cue, ranger rolling his (beautiful) eyes... again.
2. No one can keep you safe without a looooooong rifle.
Now how is a rifle going to protect you from these giant beasts? Who cares. Did Indiana Jones get a lot of use out of that whip? Exactly.
3. You must engage in incessant questions; that ranger's voice though.
Oh My God. The elephant poops THAT much every day? I am so intrigued. You are so smart! *Bats eyelashes.*
4. You find yourself wondering about life in the passenger seat.
He's 25, educated, and always has the wind-blown hair of a man who loves life on the move. Can I leave some of my stuff in your glovebox?
5. You begin to find khaki is the sexiest color in the world.
He might be a little dusty, but that's just fine. (So long as he's not a little rusty.) No stain can touch him on safari. He is perfect in his 10 perfectly mismatched shades of beige. *Drools.*
6. You NEED to be walked to your room, separately from the rest of your group.
Get chaperoned back to your room under the moonlight, for safety purposes. I hear the baboons know their way around a doorknob... maybe you should stay.
7. You're not sure how you're going to do real life without him.
He does it all -- spotting game, elegantly off-roading the Land Cruiser, playing nurse, mixing your sundowners cocktails. He even remembers that you like a nice lime wedge in your cocktail. Can I take you home?
Our trip would not have been the same had it not been for our amazing Rangers. You can't help but love them, and you won't want to leave them. They keep you safe; they spot all the animals; they have all the answers; they are your guides to conquer the endless plains of Africa.
